Deep thoughts

Every day when I get home from work, I put all my stuff down, walk over to the bookcase, and take out a stick of incense. I light it and place it on my special incense holder, which sits right next to my Buddha statue. I ask for two things every day: patience and compassion.

I have no doubt in my mind that those two things can solve every single problem in the world. Yes, suppose I could ask for happiness and be done with it, but blank happiness isn't exactly what I am going for. When you reach the top of a mountain and can look back on how far you've come, that's real happiness to me. It's knowledge, it's learning, it's where you've been, it's realizing, it's growing up... and that all takes boatloads of patience to go through.

And it's not just about being patient, compassion allows us to sympathize and understand. It implies a desire to alleviate negativity where we can, and is a big part of what I think of when I hear the word awareness. It's deep, touching, sometimes scary, and is always beneficial though it can be so hard to embrace.

I've been restless this week... tired, upset, and angry with the way my life has been heading. When times like this happen, those two things I ask for every day go right out the window. I don't sleep or eat well and I constantly fear that I will relive those dark depression-laden years of my life. If you've ever been through depression, then that sinking biting feeling is all too real. I know it fades with time, but I don't know if it'll ever go away all together...

I used to also ask for understanding, but I gave that up long ago. I finally realized that there's just no possible way I can ever understand everything about everything all the time. There will be so many things I'll never understand, but perhaps accepting them is as close as I can get. Acceptance. I'll have to add that onto the list I think.

But lately I haven't been very accepting of anything, least of all how I am right now. I believe that all the strength I need to change, all the strength I've ever needed, is in me already. Lack of strength or desire to succeed is not the problem, it never was. Well crap, then what the hell is it???

I suppose the real thing keeping me from my goals, like so many other people, is ultimately fear. Fear of failing, fear of not failing (what?), fear of it taking a lot of time and taking a lot of effort, the fear of doing something hard and not knowing what the outcome will be.

Geez, whine much? When I write it out like that... fear seems rather silly.

It seems lame.

It seems illogical.

It seems like a huge waste of time.

And if there's one thing you should never waste, it's time. Because most everyone will say, you never had enough to begin with.

Baking spree

Hooray for sleeping in! I love lazy Sunday mornings, don't you?

I knew exactly what I needed for breakfast: french toast with my new Schar gluten-free multigrain bread! Into a flat bowl went 2 eggs, 1 tbsp of almond milk, and 1 tsp of cinnamon. Then they got a good soak and hit the pan sizzling.

They came out amazing! The gluten-free bread really held the egg well and was moist and dense. Topped with Earth Balance and real maple syrup, I may or may not have licked my plate clean. :)

We spend the day thrifting for interesting dishes and Halloween costumes. The first store we tried was closed, the next two had nothing interesting. (sigh) It wasn't a complete bust because we managed to stumble upon a cultural street fair in Glendale.  Brand street was closed down and studded with games, booths, food trucks, dancing exhibitions, and a marching band!

(pics to come)

I grabbed some masala spiced fries with yogurt sauce and Ev got a naan sandwich with "turkey" from the Indian food truck. It was sooooo spicy but super good.

Goodwill was right there so we stopped in for a peek. No luck in the dishes or costume department, but I got a steal on a pair of brand new rollerblades. I've been bugging Ev about rollerblading for a while, so when I saw these for $10, I had to get them.

The rest of the day was spent running other errands, grocery shopping, and lots of cooking. I was feeling inspired for dinner and wanted big warm baked things. This resulted in chili, a new cornbread recipe, and an almost-perfect apple crisp. 

(I apologize for the poor picture quality, it was very dark and my studio flash was on the fritz.)

This chili gets its smoky flavor from chipotle peppers in adobo sauce. If you can't find them, you can substitute 1/2 tsp of liquid smoke or just enjoy it as regular chili.

Smoky Chili

1 onion

3-4 cloves of garlic

2 tbsp olive oil

1 12 oz can diced tomatoes (Muir Glen fire roasted is best!)

1 12oz can kidney beans

6 oz water or broth

1 red bell pepper

2 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce

thickener of your choice (arrowroot, cornstarch, corn masa)

2 tbsp chili powder

1 tbsp cocoa powder

1/2 tbsp garlic powder

1 tbsp ground cumin

1 teaspoons salt

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

1) Prep: chop onion and garlic, open tomatoes/beans/chipotle peppers, thoroughly combine spices in a small bowl, chop red pepper, chop finely the 2 chipotle peppers.

2) In a large non-reactive pot, sweat the onion and garlic in the olive oil. Add a pinch of salt to help draw out the moisture.

3) Toss in the bell pepper and cook for 1 minute.

4) Add the spices and continue to cook for 1 more minute.

5) Add the tomatoes with their liquid, chipotle peppers + 1 tsp of the adobo sauce from the can, the beans, and your broth.

6) Cover and simmer on low for 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes or so.

7) Add thickener if desired: Combine 1 tbsp of thickener with 2 tbsp of water to form a slurry. Stir into chili and cook for 2-3 minutes.

8) Serve with cornbread and lots of toppings like grated cheese, sour cream, cilantro, onions and scallions, chocolate chips, crushed tortilla chips, salsa, etc...

My bowl with chocolate chips (seriously, try it!!!), sour cream, a wee bit of cheddar, and lots of cilantro and scallions.

My Texan father taught me that where there's chili, there's gotta be cornbread. I was thinking of Evan when I developed this recipe, using his love of honey as inspiration. It's light and sweet, but not overly so.

Sweetheart Cornbread

1 cup cornmeal

1 cup all purpose flour

1/3 cup sugar

1/3 cup honey

3/4 tsp salt

1 tbsp + 1 tsp baking powder

1 egg

1 cup milk

1/3 cup oil

1 tsp vanilla extract

nonstick spray

1) Preheat the oven to 400 degrees, spray your pan with nonstick spray. I used a glass 9x13 for longer thinner pieces.

2) Whisk together the cornmeal, flour, sugar, salt, and baking powder in a large mixing bowl.

3) In a separate bowl, whisk together the egg, honey, milk, oil, and vanilla extract.

4) Pour the wet into the dry and stir till just combined.

5) Pour batter into your prepped pan and bake for 25-30 minutes till the center is firm and bounces back to the touch.

6) Serve warm with chili or a glass of cold milk.

Options: For a spicy kick, add in 1/4-1/2 tsp of cayenne pepper. You can also sub up to 3/4 cup of the milk with creamed style corn.

For dessert I messed around with an apple crisp. I thought toasted nuts would be a great substitute for the typical oat topping.

Apple Crisp

4 apples

1 tbsp cinnamon

2 tbsp brown sugar

1/2 tsp nutmeg

dash of ground clove

pinch salt

(topping ingredients below)

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2) Peel and chop your apples. Toss to coat with the sugar, spices, and salt. Set aside.

3) Make your topping. Grind the following ingredients in food processor till it resembles coarse meal.

     1/2 cup flour

     1/2 cup chopped almonds

     2 tbsp brown sugar

     pinch salt

     dash cinnamon

     4 tbsp margarine or butter

4) Butter a large casserole or souffle dish and layer in the apples, sprinkle topping in an even layer on top.

5) Bake for 1 hour. Let cool for 20 minutes before serving.

It was almost perfect, but I could tell that I didn't have enough syrupy sauce bubbling up. I guess I'll have to keep baking these till I get it right! And after all that apple peeling, chopping, and baking... we didn't even eat the crumble! Ah well, the chili and cornbread was more than enough for one evening.

Off to fold laundry and get ready for the week. Can you believe it's already the end of October!?

Pasadena Art Walk

I am completely exhausted right now! I have been going non-stop since 7:30am. First up was hula, then to Pasadena to set up for the Art Walk, then breakfast/lunch at Panera to fuel up for the day.

 

Soup, sandwich, extra piece of french bread, and an iced coffee. I could live in a bowl of Panera's creamy tomato soup! I am not a tomato person, but I love it as a soup. Especially with garlic parmesan croutons.

I saw a few clients after lunch and then trekked back to the Art Walk to work for a few more hours. It was in full swing complete with Jazz band action, kids crafts, and bustling canopies.

One of the kids at our booth had this little guy in her arms.

I thought it was a toy at first till he started moving around and blinking. This teeny tiny chihuahua/pug mix was barely a week old. He had some of the softest fur I've ever felt!

I even spotted the famous Cool Haus ice cream sandwich truck. I don't know about other cities, but the food truck fad is alive and well here in Los Angeles. My favorite is still the Fry Smiths, it's so hard to beat vegan chili Daiya french fries.

The weather was so beautiful and the Art Walk was a lot of fun. Though it was very small, we had people from all over Los Angeles county come to check it out. Love my little art community!

We broke down at 6pm and since Evan helped me out so much today, I treated him to some froyo.

Menchies! The left side is key lime cheesecake with graham cracker dust and a single brownie bite, the right is swirled pomegranate and raspberry sorbet with mochi pieces. I got a brainfreeze from chomping it down too fast but it was totally worth it.

Going to try my hand at ravioli making tonight and then relaxing for the rest of the evening. Have a great Saturday night!

Friday Favorites

Hooray! Time for another installment of Friday Favorites! Let's get to it.

1) Nalgene bottles

Hi, my name is Mahealani and I am a water bottle hoarder. I have tried (and still own) almost every singe water bottle on the market. Though fads come and go in the bottle world, I always end up back with my trusty BPA free Nalgene bottle. This 32oz of watery goodness travels with me from bedstand to table to car to work back to car back to home on a daily basis. 

2) Vanilla

I've never been able to keep orchids alive, but thank goodness these pods of godly goodness keep well in a jar. I like chocolate, but I LOVE vanilla. Whenever I see vanilla extract in recipes I double or triple it and am never sorry.

3) Schar's gluten-free multigrain bread

This is totally my new favorite gluten-free bread. It's soft and moist though still dense. Good enough to eat on its own and great toasted with Earth Balance. I can't wait to make french toast with it tomorrow!


4) Peacocks

I adore birds and peacocks are at the top of my favorites list. There's just no color you can make in a lab that can hold a candle to the sheer vibrancy of a peacock. They captivate me every time. I just might have to have a peacock themed wedding... better talk to Evan about this.


5) Trader Joe's Jojoba Oil

This is probably one of the best things you can possibly by at TJ's. I use it every day for makeup remover, lip and skin moisturizer, drizzled into shampoo to protect my hair in washing, scar/stretch mark repair, and the list goes on and on. I only wish it came in a gallon, I just might pour it into my tub and go crazy!

We just got back from an Ikea run and I have hula early tomorrow, hope your Fridays were amazing!

Not empty handed

Today started out great with an egg and goat cheese sandwich with a dash of sunlight! Apparently the heat wave is coming to and end (thank you!) and we're going to get some cooler temps next week.

I have been searching for my Halloween costume every day and decided to take my lunch break to continue looking. I'm cursed blessed to have a multitude of thrift stores and regular stores close to the office.

The first, and only, stop was Target. I didn't find exactly what I was looking for, but I did manage to nab a pair of earrings and sparkly nude nail polish for $6. Score! 

I won't reveal my costume till Halloween night, but let's just say it involves a long trench coat in a strikingly bright red color, yellow scarf, and recognizable fedora. If don't get it by those clues, then you certainly are not from my generation of kid's TV shows!

I also managed to get a picture of the amazing clouds that were sweeping the sky this afternoon.

Beautiful! I think these are Cirrus? Very high and wispy.

I knew I was going to run out of time on my lunch break, so I grabbed this from the frozen section of Target to eat at my desk.

It's so hard to find good vegetarian frozen meals but this sounded the best and was only 250 calories. It needed salt to balance out the sweetness, but it had good mushroom and marsala flavor.

I left work early to run some errands for the art walk tomorrow and then headed off to Ikea with Evan. We're looking for lamps to lighten up our new living room arrangement. We grabbed some swedish meatballs, salmon, veggies, and almond cake for dinner first.

What a goofball.

I insisted on looking at the pre-designed rooms and got distracted by this headboard. It's a DIY with excess floor moulding and natural fiber placemats as the screen. It's got that eco spa look I love!

We ended up arguing lighting logistics for half an hour and couldn't decide on something we're both happy with. Oh well, the search continues... I didn't leave empty-handed from this store either though.

I've had my eye on this simple glass tiered cake stand for a while. It's now sitting happily in the kitchen as the new fruit stand!

I have a lot to do tomorrow so I'm going to go snuggle up on the couch with some tea and The Office before bed. Hope you all had a great Friday!

Back online

This heat wave has been driving me nuts! It definitely contributed to my sleepless night, along with a latte and not enough water.

I woke up hot and thirsty, but with an uneasy tummy so I just went for juice. Carrot, apple, celery, cucumber, spinach, and chard.

I knew I needed something else and grabbed a piece of multi-grain gluten-free bread, toasted with Earth Balance, just before heading to work.

I really like this new gluten-free bread I got. I'm going to try it in a few more recipes though and see how it holds up before posting a review. So far it passed the toast test, which is not an easy round... I hate how most gluten-free breads turn into cardboard when you toast them.

I wanted a light lunch today so I just packed 2 extra juices and the rest of the detox salad.

I had a lot of stuff to do organizing an event I am running this weekend at an Art Walk here in Pasadena. I also had to catch up on everything I missed yesterday, so my working hours were pretty full! I got home and immediately dug into a snack.

I normally don't buy "lite" anything, but I happened to grab the wrong bag last time I went. No sense in wasting it...

And this was waiting for me when I got home:

100ft of ethernet cable never looked so good! To a blogger (without a wireless conecction) this is my idea of salvation. Now I'm back online! 



It was still rather hot this evening but Evan and I were dead set on having some quality time together. Before that though, he worked and I watched Sister Wives. It's about polygamists and their trials/tribluations/joys of everyday life together. It's really interesting!

For our quality time we decided on thai food and The Office. (Sometimes we can be veeeery boring.)

I had mine with a glass of water and a side of Pippin! That cat begs for food more than any dog I've ever met. I had to keep throwing him off my lap, he loves rice noodles.

Pad see ew with tofu, my favorite. But I have to confess that I ate it more like this:

Sauced. It was bright red with Sriracha glory by the time I dug into it.


We're off to take a walk before bed, it'll probably the the last warm night walk till next summer!

Happens every day

AH!!!!


You know what's worse than staying home sick in the middle of the week on a 100 degree day? Logging into your bank account to find over $450 worth of fraudulent charges.


Somehow, someone got my debit # (I still have the card in my wallet) and charged my account into the red today. There were four charges, all from gas stations, varying $50-$100+ a pop.


On the phone with my bank right now...


I've never had my identity stolen before though I hear it happens every day. This comes shockingly close to Averie's fraudulent charge incident.


Beware out there! 

Date with a detox (salad)

I started feeling feverish this afternoon and left work a bit early to get some rest. After chowing down some gummy multi's, I set off to make my own version of the detox salad from Oh She Glows which I've been eying for a while.

As is the case with all new recipes I find, I didn't have half the ingredients on hand. Sooooo, I put my "improvise hat" on and hoped for the best.

This had:

1/2 head cauliflower

1/2 head broccoli

3 carrots

1 yellow bell pepper

1 red bell pepper

1/2 bunch cilantro

lemon juice

salt and pepper

dried cranberries

All pulverized in batches by Benny my food processor. Benny and I have a very good relationship! 

I ended up omitting the maple syrup from the original recipe because I am not a sweet salad kind of girl. Next time I will not add in the bell peppers either, too acidic and wet.

This kept me full for a long time and provided a nice energy boost. Cruciferous vegetables for all!!!

By the time the sun went down, I wanted something warm and familiar for dinner so I made a big pot of kare raisu. Into the pot went garlic, tofu, carrots, spinach, potato, broth, and some premade curry blocks.

Served over rice with fukujinzuke (the reddish pickles on top), this is the most amazing comfort food in the world. But, it was salty so there was lots of green tea on hand.

Got a bit of a fever again, so I'm off to take a cool bath and get some rest. My immune system is bi-polar so I will either be A-OK tomorrow or completely sick, crossed fingers on the first one!

Friday Favorites

Welcome to "Friday Favorites"! A magical day of randomity, where I pick five of my weekly/monthly/lifetime favorites to share with you.

1) Spotify, the latest online music player

Spotify fulfills the "I need to hear that song right now!" impulse. While I still prefer Pandora's recommendations for similar artists, the convenience of Spotify's on-demand capabilities is a big plus. As illustrated above, you can change your radio station's genre offerings with the click of a button without having to "create a new station" every time like Pandora. Though the interface can be confusing to navigate, their search is impressive, with a wide variety of popular and obscure music.

2) This ring on Etsy

Simple and modern with an organic richness from the brushed metal. It reminds me of Los Angeles and the fact that it's naturally adjustable is a really nice feature.

3) Trader Joe's new Nourish All-In-One Facial Cleanser

I was having a weird reaction to my previous facewash, Yes To Carrots cream cleanser, and decided to take a chance on this TJ's one. I am so glad I did! It's very light but great at removing makeup, and didn't give me any kind of reaction. At $6 for an 8.5 fl oz bottle, this is a steal.

4) Sally Hansen's Insta-Dri polish in "Brisk Blue"

There are two things that make me feel pretty no matter what: 1. my tattoos, and 2. having my nails painted. There's just something so feminine about it and I love cream "matte" style polishes better than glittery ones.

I would have called this color "screamin' sky blue", but I'm no nail polish naming expert. All I know is that Sally Hansen is my hero. Funky color that dries almost instantly? Yes ma'am, thank you very much.

5) The Office: Season 7

Since I don't own a TV, I am never up to date on popular shows. However, Netflix just released Seasons 7 & 8 of The Office this week, so Evan and I have been watching them non-stop.

I work an 8hr a day, 40 hr week, office job so this show is right up my alley. And like a fine wine, The Office is getting better with age. Out of all the characters, Andy is my favorite! How could I not love a man who is totally goofy and sings? But Jim is just so darn cute too...

Alright, that's it for this week!

Pie and Playhouse art

From the moment I woke up, I started obsessing over tonight's dinner. My friends Bryce and Nick are coming over to eat before we all head off to Hollywood for an art show!

I was so focused on dinner that I completely forgot to photograph breakfast and lunch, which were an omelette and a big salad with a side of tomato soup.

As soon as I got off and got home, I set to work.

First up was a pie I've been wanting to bake for a long time...

Roasted Sweet Potato Pie

1 lb sweet potato (1 large)

1/2 cup butter, softened

3/4 cup sugar

2 eggs

1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1 tbsp vanilla extract

1 9-inch graham cracker pie crust, or regular pie crust

1) Peel your sweet potato and wrap in foil. Bake at 400 degrees for 1 hour. Let cool.

2) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and place rack in middle of the oven.

3) In a food processor, mash sweet potato and butter with the S blade till smooth.

4) Add in the sugar, eggs, spices, and vanilla extract and process well.

5) Pour filling into pie crust and tap pie onto counter to remove air bubbles.

6) Bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes.

The slice was me testing the center with a butter knife, I should have just trusted my gut which told me it was done when it didn't jiggle. 

I sprinkled some more freshly grated nutmeg on the top, one of the best spices ever! It's also very beautiful as well.

While the pie cooled, I whipped up the main course: walnut pesto and spinach salad with cranberries and goat cheese.

For the second time that night I used the processor to whirr walnuts, basil, olive oil, sea salt, and fresh black pepper into creamy goodness.

With the table set, the wine poured, and the music a' playing, we dug in! 

Doesn't Bryce have the best hair??? I don't think many people can look that good grabbing up salad but she can!

My half and half plate:

Pie time! I was sooooo happy with the way this turned out. Not too sweet with overtones of vanilla and a good kick of spice.

And then we booked it off to Hollywood for Michelle's art show at the Playhouse club. 

I was super worried about sneaking my big camera in and getting in trouble for taking pictures so I didn't shoot inside the club too much. 

I couldn't get away from the bar, which had the most amazing lighting. There's something about backlit/underlit boozy glass bottles that just looks so wonderful.

The club was converted into a makeshift art show complete with a runway for performers. This was the lady of the hour:

Michelle's not only a coworker, but an amazing artist and friend. By the time I realized we were allowed to take pictures inside, the art portion of the club was done and she was packed up. However, you can check out her site here: .

We stayed on for a bit and watched this rapper, he was really good! 

Bryce and Nick hammed it up for me!

After the show we weren't really ready to go home so we grabbed a drink across the street. A beer after an art show at a club in Hollywood is a great way to end a Thursday!